Blog #10--Dialogue that defines relatinships between characters

RICKY Mina! I missed you so much! MINA Ugh, Ricky. We saw each other a few hours ago. Now stop clinging onto me. RICKY You didn’t miss me? MINA (sarcastically) Of course I missed you. RICKY Are you being sarcastic? It sounds like you are. MINA No, why would you ever think I was being sarcastic? Don’t you know me? RICKY Mina, stop using sarcasm! I don’t like it. MINA (smirks) Oh really? I thought you loved it. RICKY (crosses arms in a huff) You’re so mean. MINA I’m sorry. I just love messing around with you. RICKY No, your apology is not accepted. MINA That’s fine by me. I’ll just sit by Logan. Maybe we can get closer. RICKY No! I mean, uh. I’ll sit by Logan. You can’t go anywhere near another guy. MINA (pinches Ricky’s cheeks) Sure thing, Mr. Chipmunk Cheeks. RICKY Aww, don’t start teasing me about my cheeks again!

Blog #9--Dialogue that moves the story forward

Dialogue that moves the story forward: MR ROSS Why, it's a pleasure to meet you, little lady. GABRIELA (scowling) Can't say the same about you, ass. MR ROSS Now, now, young lady. That tone of your is not tolerated, considering the actions of your crime. GABRIELA Crime? Pff, please! Just because I was studying for school. I never thought I could be arrested for that. MR ROSS (pauses and continues, pacing around her) You seem oblivious by these chains of events. Would you rather look past these actions and let me just release as of the whole ordeal never happened? GABRIELA (frowning) Well. . .yeah, actually. MR ROSS I see. But you should know Ms Vendez that this action can not be simply overlooked. You may think I'm paranoid about your past actions, but this matter is far worse then you actually think. MR ROSS (continuing) I do hope you drag anyone into this mess, young lady. It'll be ashamed if anyone else was to be hurt.

Blog #8--Writing Effective Dialogue

There are three important factors to creating good dialogue in a script

1.) It needs to progess the story. In novels, the story is able to move effectively with long descriptions on what and where ther charatcers are and what they are feeling. In screenplays, this needs to be portrayed in dialogue and even body language. There good be someone narrating it but there is no other way a screenplayu good be told unless the characters are interacting with themselves and one another.

2.) Expressing characteres through dialogue gives the audience a glimpse of the charatcers. If a charatcer is perky, he/she is optimistic and speaks with joy about life. If a charatcer is a pessimist, he/she reflects life in a very nagative way and thinks little about themselves and others around them.

3.) Don't be boring. When the characters interact, they cannot just be bland and let the actors spice them up. The writer must do this with the dialogue.Make it fierce in a argument, make it tragic with a sad part. Just be clever and this will entice the audience.

Blog #7--Hollywood Formula

The "Hollywood Formula"

By Erin Chmiel and Tanya Sonthana


1.) INCITING INCIDENT---Gabriela is caught by school security. She attmepts to break her bindings but it doesn't work. She is then interrupted by Logan voice above her. He see her down the vent and scolds her for leaving class and being put in this situation. She promises to explain why if he helps her. Logan agrees to help her and momentarily leaves the vent, promising to come back soon. After a few minutes, Gaby begins to worry whether Logan had abandoned her or not. However, she hears his voice above her once again and looks up to find him grinning slyly with keys he had stolen from the security. Finding a way to pry open the vent, Logan drops down into the room and release Gaby of her bindings. The two then begin to go back up into the vent yet the door opens to reveal the security guards coming to interrogate her. Panicking, the pair try to scramble up into the vent to no avail. Realizing that there is no way to get up fast enough, the two of them overpower the security guard and race back home as quickly as possible. The security guard doesn't pursue them but makes sure to tell the others to be wary of Gaby and Logan.

2.) HAVING FUN AND GETTING TO KNOW OUR CHARACTERS---After the event of Gaby's capture by the security guard and Logan's successful attempt at busting her out, Mina and Ricky decide to take the two out to a diner in order to  help them relax and forget about any issues. At first, the dinner starts out quite normally with the usual jokes and conversation. Here, you can see the relationships between the characters. Mina and Ricky are seen as the peaceful, yet doting couple. (Well, at least Ricky dotes on Mina) Ricky and Logan are the boys of the group so they obviously act differently with one another thatn they do with the girls. They have their own little competitions and whatnot. Also, another main point in the relationship is the teasing. Ricky is teased mercilessly for his "baby" cheeks. Mina is teased for being too tall. And so on and so forth. Then, the atmosphere at the table changes when Mina notices Gaby's drawing sticking out of her bag. Curiously, she takes it out and examines it. Immediately, Mina is awed by the drawing and she finds herself drawn to it. The drawing inspires her to make designs that embodied what Gaby has drawn. Gaby spots her and snatches it away. In spite of everything somewhat going back to normal, Gaby shys away from questions asked by her friends about earlier. She bursts suddenly, now asking them if they ever feel like the society they live in is commercialized or fake. By that point it gets tense when the police walk by the window and decide to leave. Unfortunately, a little later in the story, the government sees Mina's fashion designs and instantly deem them dangerous. They plan to take the designs away for fear that other people will see them and wonder about the look of them.

3.) OPENING SCENE---The beginning of the film starts with very bright lights, a ringing sound too. Bits of it give away showing the camera leading us into a forest. Pinao overture (?). Reveals production and title and actors, etc as the camera moves around the forest and the brooke. It then stops and pans wide when the camera ends at the edge of the forest and gives us a view of the meadow. 

Blog #6--Script Outline (finally)

(Underline work in section 3 is part of the climax and falling action)

City of Lights: 

 

By Erin Chmiel and Tanya Sonthana

 

1.)    Blinding light. Fades at parts to show meadow and the sound of the morning, unfamiliar to most people. Flashes brightly and goes into darkness. Sound of an alarm clock buzzing. A tan hand reaches to turn it off. Bed rustles and settle down for a few seconds. 

A voice of a male stops the silence as he tells the figure in bed to wake up. You hear a groan and follow the boy to the bed to see him throw off the covers to see a girl, looking like a mess and covering her head. He convinces her to get up because they have school. She obliges as he exits. Sitting up, she flicks a switch that activates her room (blinds open, blue and neon lights lit up the room, and her monitor wakes to tell her about her day. 

 

2. Describe your inciting incident: It’s a typical day at school. Gabriela and Logan attend their classes like usual although Gaby seems to be even more distracted by her dream. She has a sketch of the field she saw in her dream and she touches up on it during her astronomy class. Logan sees it and asks her what the drawing is. Her teacher interrupts their conversation by asking Logan to answer a problem. Gaby answers it instead and then begins to interrogate the teacher by asking her if there are subjects that are not allowed to be taught in school. In the end, the teacher shows no sign of giving her answers so Gaby leaves to go find the answers on her own.

 

3.)~Goes to library to find answers, gaining attention from others. Once finding information, she is led away by an unknown security guard. Possible chase scene?

 ~Logan busts her out, breaks from school security and is taken home by Ricky and Mina (cheered up by them?)

~Goes to inner city diner by subway with friends, runs into bad school guys (?)

~Sneaks out of house and tries to leave town to the outland. Chase scenes, scary moments

 ~Fight with main security

~Caught by police at final destination

4.) In an attempt to figure out the mystery of her dream and to see what the morning looks like, Gaby sneaks out of the house and goes past neighborhood security. At some point in her escape, she is seen and a chase scene occurs. She makes her way to Mina's house without getting caught and Mina helps her by creating a disguise. Using the disguise, Gaby continues her journey.Meanwhile, Logan asks Mina why isnt Gaby answering her phone. After some serious questioning, she explains what's going on. Logan and Ricky then try to stop her but she doesn't obey. Asking for help, Logan and Ricky help her make it to the outskirts of town taking a car. Chase scene.

5.) Government security now intervenes and corners her. She is led away by the head of Secret Services and taken in for questioning and bail. They decide if her memory should be erased/brainwashed along with her friends. But her father comes in and asks to oppress all charges because of a supposed past deal. The man obliges relunctantly and Gaby is taken home along with her friends.

6.) It is here all the truth is revealed. Her father explains everything to her: When she was born, she was accidently exposed to the sun, giving her a sunburn on her shoulder. The government wanted to dispose of her because she may have memory of it and could get curious. But her father makes a deal with them to only erase the memories of all those involved with the escape, i.e Gaby, Logan, and Ricky. Nothing happens to Mina because she was not with them during the escape. However, she gets rid of her designs that had been based on Gaby's drawing and Gaby's drawing is also destroyed in order for this to never happen again.It only lives now in her memories. Her father also explains that the government is also scared to go back to their old ways, before the apocolypic in 2012. They wanted to start and give them the assumption that the sun poisons them and hurts the human spirit. The last shot is the two of them watching the sun coming up over the horizon over the meadow. END 

 

Blog #5--Logline (REVISED)

In a nocturnal, post-apocalyptic world, a rebellious teenage girl goes against the controversial, censored government to see what's beyond the nighttime life when everyone is asleep.

Blog #4--The Logline

In a post-apocalyptic world, a rebellious seventeen girl goes against her lawful, censored society to see what's beyond the nighttime life once everyone is asleep.